If there were a hole, I would want to go in it!
(Mind out of the gutter, it's a colliqualism referring to extreme embarassment!)
So here I am,
The trip to the mall on January 3rd went about as well as expected. We just kind of pushed our way through the crowds and no one did much shopping. Apparently they were supposed to meet m-i-l later that day at ToysRUs so that she could buy the two kids birthday presents (they both have birthdays in early January), which is something she neglected to tell us. So we parted ways and we went home while they went to mingle with giraffes that walked on hindquarters.
But today's phrase refers to something that happened during their short visit on the 2nd.
We were showing b-i-l and s-i-l the house, since it was their first time there. I have a swiffer in a corner behind a sofa upstairs. I figure I use it more often if I see it. S-i-l saw it too, and commented on the swifffer sheet attached to it and asked to see it. It's a reusable sheet made of a microfiber terrycloth-esque material that you wash out when it gets too dusty, as opposed to throwing it away like usual swiffer sheets. I find that it catches dust and hair better than the regular disposables.
(this is your last chance! TMI alert!!)
So s-i-l is looking at the used, unwashed swiffer sheet and she finds caught in the pile material what Japanese newscasters used to refer to as "an adult body hair" when reporting child molestation cases. In other words, a pubic hair.
That's what I get for leaving unwashed swiffer sheets on the swiffers when I'm expecting company.