Wednesday, January 25, 2017


Ishi no chikara

(Pictured: What we try to will ourselves away from, with inconsistent degrees of success. And by inconsistent, I mean negligible.)

The past week, I’ve kept a journal (o.k., more like a checklist) of what I did (or didn’t do) that day. I found that when I do everything like I’m supposed to (like exercise AND work like the Energizer Bunny all day AND stay away from social media until I’ve done everything AND not drink or eat chips before bed), I will get “good behavior fatigue” and have about two rebound days short on exercise and big on emotional eating and going down the internet rabbit hole. And while I am ready to forgive myself for one rebound day, I will beat myself up over having two in a row, then I will get moody and snap at innocent strangers (well, the guy wasn’t completely innocent, he was being righteous and obnoxious, but being those things isn’t a crime and he shouldn’t have had some middle-aged woman he didn’t know yell at him because of it).

So what is the solution here? Set lower expectations for myself? Try harder not to have two rebound days? Forgive myself when I do? Or maybe all of the above?


Annie Crow said...

Oh, how true. I've noticed the same kinds of patterns.

I use the 5-minute-journal system. It asks five questions, three for the beginning of the day and two at the end (though I do it first thing in the morning and complete my answers for the day before then).

I'm grateful for (3 things)
What would make today great (three things)
Daily affirmation: I am...
3 amazing things that happened today
How could I have made today better?

I have a separate task list at work and on the weekends, but I find keeping it to three main goals helps me figure out what is most important to me that day, and then I don't stress so much about the rest.

And on the morning after days I feel I failed, I write that I am grateful for new beginnings/opportunities.

I've been doing this for a year or so, I'm not sure, and I definitely feel more focused and less guilty since I started using it.

pumpkinmommy said...

This is something I need to look into and revise my methods, because so far I have accomplished very little additionally by journaling, except increase my level of self-loathing. Which is not helpful. In the least.