Ishi no chikara
(Pictured: What we try to will ourselves away from, with inconsistent degrees of success. And by inconsistent, I mean negligible.)
The past week, I’ve kept a journal (o.k., more like a checklist) of what I did (or didn’t do) that day. I found that when I do everything like I’m supposed to (like exercise AND work like the Energizer Bunny all day AND stay away from social media until I’ve done everything AND not drink or eat chips before bed), I will get “good behavior fatigue” and have about two rebound days short on exercise and big on emotional eating and going down the internet rabbit hole. And while I am ready to forgive myself for one rebound day, I will beat myself up over having two in a row, then I will get moody and snap at innocent strangers (well, the guy wasn’t completely innocent, he was being righteous and obnoxious, but being those things isn’t a crime and he shouldn’t have had some middle-aged woman he didn’t know yell at him because of it).
So what is the solution here? Set lower expectations for myself? Try harder not to have two rebound days? Forgive myself when I do? Or maybe all of the above?