I've wished for long, lush, curly eyelashes for most of my post-pubertal life. I bought a Shiseido eyelash curler sometime during my first year out of university, and I still use it on a daily basis. I think I have left the house with uncurled, mascara-free lashes about once this past year. But I'd never crossed over to the dark side of falsies. They seemed so…false. Plus, I was too cheap to shell out the money for the high-end ones, while I was wary of the Chinese and Korean imports. Then, a domestic cosmetic company came out with a line of inexpensive falsies, so I had to give it a try. Today, I bought a pair that promised "natural, feminine lashes" and came with a small tube of eyelash glue.
After much trial and error (including the conclusion that I was never going to get them on right without putting my contacts in), I managed to get them on, and well, I finally had the long, lush, curly eyelashes I'd dreamed of for so long.
The Pumpkin Princess walked in on me while I was doing all this and said, "You're wearing falsies! I don't like them on you. They make your eyes look too big, like you're not Mommy."
As I was marveling at how she did not want a pretty mommy but HER mommy, the Pumpkin Prince came to see what the fuss was about. He smiled and said, "wow, you look cool!"
I was of course delighted with this statement of approval. "Really?"
"Yeah! You look just like Sponge Bob!"
He left for a moment and brought back this old Happy Meal toy.
"See? Just like Sponge Bob! Now all you have to do is paint yourself yellow and draw circles on your cheeks!"
Talk about burst bubbles...